The cold and brutal truth...

The famous tiled steps in Lapa

(more photos: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=129194&id=222304166&l=59b71)

Had a couple of perfect days in Rio. (Aussie accent is drilling into my brain, so much so that a londoner thought i was an aussie...oh dear. ) Feel a bit ashamed, but i did a tour... it was so convenient though, so screw you judgy people! Saw ''Christ the redeemer'' and it was incredibly cloudy up there, was in a cloud again and it was rather atmospheric. Pretty foreboding actually, looked like He was damning us all. I shamelessly sang the YMCA and the two aussie twins i was with, sang stairway to heaven under the escalators leading upto Jesus... hehehe. I was a little underwhelmed though, cos He wasn[t as huge as i thought He[d be (capital letter?) and then realsised that i[m the ridiculous tourist who isn[t impressed by the frickin 30ft statue of Jesus in a frickin cloud on top of frickin Rio...oh well. We saw waterfalls and wierd looking koala monkeys and the amazing Niemeyer Contemporary Art museum in Niteroi...

This guy[s a legend, you should all google him, cos he has basically changed the architecture of the continent...

We also went shopping, yey! Zaza[s always dressed so femininely (word?) and I always feel like a big bushy man, so i acquired some girly dresses, yey. In the interest of full disclosure, i should also say that I went for a bikini wax. Let[s just say that I got more than I bargained for... not as excruciating as i was expecting , but I have seriously never felt more exposed and a little terrified. Think it looks awful (don[t worry, this is NOT the show and tell portion of the blog), but seriously, it looks like that wierd bald cat Rachel had in friends... NOT sexy people, not sex at all...

Met an English guy here who used to work at our last hostel, and is now looking for a new job, because he[s been fired...again. The first time, he got so drunk, he was sick on himself, took off all his clothes and fell asleep in the lobby...fair enough really. The second time, he got wasted (pattern emerging?) and fell on an Israeli girl. Awe.Some. I don[t know how to say this without sounding like a bigot, but there are naturally a LOT of open minded people backpacking around, excited to meet new people and expose themselves to new cultures, and not one of them has anything nice to say about groups of israeli girls. how strange. I don[t honestly have any explanation, but there was a gang of them on our tour and they could speak some spanish and english, but any attempt on our part to engage them in convo, was brutally rebuffed and they stood in the way of everyone[s photos, posing like you[ve never seen. and that[s coming from a hardcore drunk poser (for evidence, u just have to check all the photos from my nights out on facebook...the drunker we get, the sexier we think we are...) It was hilarious actually, there were all these confused tourists trying to get photos of themselves, and suddenly, an israeli girl would launch herself in the middle of the frame and pose for her friend taking a photo from the other direction... anyway, here[s hoping to meet some who totally rubbish the stereotype. I[m all about the case by case basis!

Aaaanyway, apart from touristy stuff, I also caught a movie (Benjamin Button- totally engaging, but ashamed to say spent large part of the movie waiting for Mr. Pitt to get younger and hot... not disappointed, every frame looked like an advert for Raybans, or motorbikes, or watches...and Cate Blanchett is so beautiful it makes you sick. Go watch it!) We also got pedicures- just 3 pounds people! and had yummy frozen yoghurt and got all dressed up and went out to celebrate the fact that we have somewhere to stay for Carnaval...MaiTai[s rock! b(and the bartender was not too shabby either, if you know what i mean. there are soooo many good looking people here, blurgh) And i[v e discovered fresh mango juice. It[s 80p and it[s the most delicious thing on the face of this earth. I[ve been eating it so much, I ran in the pouring rain (yes, it[s been raining- that[ll teach me for moaning about the heat) to get some and the guy in the juice stop didn[t even ask me what i wanted- just started making it for me, cos he knows i[m thaaat addicted. It[s like the freshest mango puree- love. it.

Ok. so a pretty chilled out day today, rocking Lapa again tonight, we can[t get enough of the place, despite all the groping.

Peace out...

Carnaval, Booyah!

Mini-post- We gotta place to stay for carnaval, booyah! Met a lovely aussie girl called aimee who[s letting us crash at her place during carnaval. She lives on the beach, a little outside rio, so it[s PERFECT! Was kinda worried i[d miss out on carnaval in rio, cos it[s so damn expensive. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED, it[s indecent really. later gators, woo!!!!

Samba!!!

The day after our Lapa street party was assigned hangover day... and then we decided to go to the samba rehearsal...baaad idea. we prob shouldn´t have gone since we were exhausted, and it doesn´t start till around 11pm. When we got there we were blown away, not just by everyone´s ability to actually dance the samba, but also their energy and love for their local band. Carnavale is essentially a giant samba competition so each area has their own band, arena, colours etc, just like footie. It was pink and green madness. It was truly amazing at first. Then they continued to play the same song for THREE HOURS... and not once was their a dip in the enthusiasm, i[ve never seen such energy. We felt pretty lame, cos we were knackered, especially since dancing samba is frickin impossible and ur ass gets tired in about three minutes. There was this amazonian type bodybuilder gorgeous lady (yes, she was all these things) in a sparkly sequined pink dress that danced samba for the whole three hours and long after we left. (well not that long after we left. at around 4.30am there was a shootout and some people got killed, but no worries cos it was at leeeast 15minutes after we left, so, yey)

Random aside, saw that annoying hairdresser from that show "the salon", you know the one who advertises tresseme, or some crap. whatever, he was there. And no photos from it, cos i was kinda worried about my camera, but i needn[t have been, despite the abundance of AK47s, they[re not interested in my chunky camera ; ) And it felt pretty safe there, it was people of all ages and backgrounds and brightly lit. Everyone was just having a great time. The grannies totally put us to shame, cos they were rockin the samba... love. it.

It´s 39 degrees and it´s not pretty...

Peeps! i[m still in rio. each day i think, ok, tomorrow[s my last day, but i can[t get enough of this place. Where i left off, was the day Helmer and Roberto left us. R back to Argentina and Helmer to take his energy to south Brazil and who else knows where. Pretty sad, cos they were my first batch of travel friends, amd we got on so well so quickly, and it was nice to have the boys do everything and look after us ( although i[m not sure they did much of that.) Now it[s just Zaza and I , in the sweatiest hostel i[m likely to experience (i hope). Impossible to sleep, so we just drink till we don[t care anymore...ok that looks pretty bad in print, but what[re u gonna do...meh.

We also visited the famous Sugar loaf mountain, seriously guys, it[s amazing. You go up in a cable car and at first ur thinking u[ve been totally ripped off, cos u could have just climbed a tall building. Then u realise that ur a dumbass and ther[e another cable cart that takes you much higher up to the actual mountain, and you ascend into a dense cloud, and the world dissapears, i was waaaay more excited than anyone else, but seriously. I was In A CLOUD!!!

We have three aussies in our room, their names are, dingo (seriously), gay, and orange pants (in all fairness i never bothered to learn orange pants real name, and why would u want to call someone dean, if u could call them dingo instead?)

They[re constantly on the go and high most of the time, but they keep surprising us as we spend more time together. I mean yes, they hardly wash and walk around in their tiny pants and do a loooot of drugs, and wake us up at 5 in the morning with weed smoke and music, but they aalso cook fresh yummy salad for tea and share it with everyone, and read a lot, and love to chat, so, appearances can be deceiving i guess. They[re all in love with Zaza, and are shameless in fighting for her attenion, which is entertaining for me to watch her squirm ; ) We all went out together to that street party in Lapa again, and though it[s crazy busy, we kept managing to find each other in that madness. And even met poeple we knew, which is insane after just 10 days. Another girl we were with, Tara the jewellery designer from new york, went for a pee at 2 in the morning and never came back. We waited outside the club for ages, then went to look for her and were really worried. It turns out on her search for a pee, she fell in the piss ditch and was so disgusted, got a cab home. fair enough really, and frickin hilarious.

We finally got the bus home at 6 in the morning, when we[d had just about enough of being groped and squeezed (it[s totally the norm here. sex flows and flourishes here and ''NO'' seems to mean, hey, come and grab my crotch, so we[re adjusting) and then lay on ipanema beach, drunk as skunks, and watched the sun rise. At the night the favelas sparkle on the hillside like brigadoon, and slowly light up as the sun moves across the sky in pink streaks. Amazing, and not just cos we were wasted ;) Stumbled home and snoozed.

First Photos- for the rest, check facebook

Ihla Grande during a storm

Christ the Redeemer at sunset

The main harbour at Ihla Grande

Our hottub, woo!!!

The ''Beauty and the Beast-esque'' library
i stumbled across in the middle of Rio and
have no idea how to find again!

oi! (that´s howdy to you)

I[m in brazil people! and a little worried since i didn[t know south indians got sunburn or peeled (thoughts, comments?) i[m sure it[s normal, ahem... i landed in rio and was oddly calm. i thought there might have been some outburst of panic along the way, but it seems not. all went smoothly, landed at an excellent hostel in copa cabana calling itself a 30s bohemian something something, but was pleasantly surprised. There was a bar, a BBQ and a hottub on the roof people... a hotub!!! ahem. as i[m not usually the lie on the beach type, i seem to have taken to it rather well. the last month in india and home before i set off were kind of hectic, so i have been luxuriating in doing nothing for a week. and it[s so hot, i am not hungry for the first time ever. i drink beer and caiparinas, eat this amazing berry sorbet with granola and banana called acai, drink coconut water and mangle the portugese language, yey.

Have fallen into the backpacker way quite smoothly (clean, is a relative term) and life is going very slowly, which is something i don[t remember ever feeling when i[m having a good time. these people KNOW how to have a good time! it[s pricey here, and is only going to get worse as carnivale draws closer (carnivale, eeeek!) and i[ve been chatting to a lot of people, local and foreign, all of whom are heading out of rio for carnivale and i might just do the same. salvador[s more dangerous than rio, which is saying something (don[t panic mum, i[m fine) so i[m probably gonna head a little north of rio, which is supposed to be even crazier and more amazing than rio during carnivale.

The hostel bar quicly became a favouriter haunt till midnight, drinking Itapave beer and Caiparinas, and then on to somewhere else. SOme amazing hiphop at the club next door and oone nioght we all went out to LApa, which has a street party every friday night. It[s like a mini carnivale. Every club has a different sound and you can either dance on the street to the music pumping from the clubs, or go inside and sweat ur balls off, (which is a lot more fun than it sounds!) or dance to the samab music played on the street, eating and drinking, and trying to avoid the river off pee flowing down the hill... seriously guys, peeing on the hill at the top of the street party?...really? Anyway, it was fabulous. Everyone only really goes out at midnightish and gets in around 5 or 6. Lazy as i am, I need a few days of rest after each one, but i[m hoping to build up my resistance.

Apart from hanging out on copa cabana and ipanema beach (booyah!) on monday 4 of us went to Ihla Grande. They[re some great people i met in my first hostel. Zaza from sweden, gorgeous, Helmer from Cuba, always ready to party party party, and Roberto from Argentina, who always forgets to bring his clothes, but never goes anywhere without his bottle of Fermet, a bitter sort of liquor from Italy. Ihla Grande a lush jungle island a couple hours south of Rio, with a teeny population, a laid back attitude and beaches that blow u away. Zaza syas they[re like the beaches in thailand. All i know is, it[s paradise.

We were hardly in the room, staying mosty on the beach. The second day, someone told us the Beach Lopes Mendes was amzing and just a 2hr walk across the island. 3 beaches and 3 hours into my jungle trek later, up a mountain wearing only a bikini, sarong and flip flops, noticing the blisters on my chest (seriously, i blistered like bubblewrap) i realised i[d been conned. Oh. My. God. Torture is not the word. All my months at the gym before India were oblitrated by all the butter they poured into and over my food in Delhi that last week, and i never realise just hooow out of shape i am. I was like the fat kid at camp... seriously, it was sad... And when we got to the beach, yeah it was pretty, but seriously? SERIOUSLY? %$#$*&*_#!!!
i napped and paddled for the next 3 hours, feeling damn proud of myself. Then we got the boat back : )

We stayed 3 nights in paradise and returned back to rio yesterday. Zaza and I are pretty chilled out people, but Helmer has more energy than nearly anyone I know (that means you Pramod) and Roberto is on his first holiday in 4 YEARS! (wanna hear the tragic part...he[s a travel agent, ;) So they are constantly waking us up, "Come on, come on, ur wasting the morning, we gotta go go go", but for some reason they always get everywhere after us, which pisses them off, which is hilarious. We get on two buses at the same time, theirs won[t leave for another hour. They left for lopes mendes beach 2 hours before us and went 4 kms the wrong way. On the way back, their boat took longer and while we luckily had an air conditioned bus back to rio waiting for us at the harbour, they had to walk in the sweltering sun to the bus station, tee hee hee.

Ok, that[s enough, cos i[m probably asking for trouble and the fates have far too much time on their hands! So that[s about it. Right now i[m writing from a hostel in Ipanema called "The Girl From Ipanema" (the locals must really hate that song) and apart from the muggy heat, and the exposed steel girders in the ceiling, it[s nice. although they have a "strict no fun policy after 10pm please"...bizarre. Anyway, gonna go do some touristy stuff now, cos we[ve been total bums for a week, like Sugarloaf and Christ etc.

Ciao for now everyone, photos to follow!!!

xxx